Old Songs

Last minute decision to head to Attica last night and so, I left my bag in Joanne's car and haven't got it back. Today, my brother kindly lent me his old iPhone so that I can use it as a mp3 on my way to work.
I'm not someone who listens to pop music. I rarely do. So I was listening to all the old pop songs in my brother's old phone and these were the few songs in which out of the rest of the songs, I recognise... And left me feeling a little depressed.

Daughtry- No surprise
Jesse McCartney- Told you so

It's weird how old songs can bring back so much memories and feelings. These songs were songs I listened to in sec3, when I was at the lowest point of my life. -Clarence was the one who introduced them to me. These were the songs in which I deleted from my phone and laptop once I was out of that phrase of my life. Because I didn't want to "dwell" in the past. In the state when I was depressed.
4years have passed and it's almost 5years now. I haven't heard any of the songs since then.
But no matter how long it is, songs no matter how old, would bring you back to how you were feeling at the point of time. The memories etc

How I was depressed, how Clarence was always there for me. How Clarence and Minjiang bought food for me bcuz I wasn't eating and I ended up shouting at them. How I kept going back and fourth because I couldn't let go. How I used to cry in school daily; that crying in class already become a norm for my friends to see. And yet, despite that, they never stopped trying to find different ways and methods to make me smile. How I used to cry myself to sleep. How all the teachers in school cared for me because they saw a huge change in me. And how Mr Ethan Wong once called me to his desk during class and asked "are you happy?" in chinese.

I'm so glad I'm out of that stage.
And I'm glad even though listening to these songs do take me back to feeling how I was feeling back then, I know I'll be fine after awhile -I hope so.
I never want to go back there.

Next song on playlist: Cry on my shoulder
(Another song that brings back memories…)

Sent via BlackBerry from SingTel!

CNY 2014

SUPSUPSUP.

I just came back from Minjiang's place for steamboat and I thought I would shower and go to bed but noooo. I just suddenly have this urge to blog.

SO HERE AM I!

(My plan was to sleep by 12am. Guess it failed again)

I feel like I'm getting my "blogging spirit" back!

YAY!!

I just wish I had more time like in the past, before I entered poly to slowly sit down and blog about things, my life, my thoughts etc. 

LIFE SUCKS WHEN YOU HAVE TO GROW UP.

Last Sunday was my first time in YEARS that I didn't have to work not because of any special occasion but because Joanne got a new part timer to cover me!! The past weeks before CNY have been so hectic, frustrating and busy for me, I almost couldn't take it. Plus the fact that I only had 5 days to complete all my work because I always work on Sat and Sun = weekends burned + I had tests almost daily after school. So obviously, I felt really relief when Joanne told me she got someone to cover me.

Went for some Art Exhibition with my fam after service before going for lunch @ Olive Vine. 

Got to eat one of my fav chocolate cake!!

After which, my family and I went shopping over at Raffles Place

On the following Wednesday, I met up with Saiful for dinner at LerkThai while waiting for Theo to come and meet us. Went to Railmall after that and drank a little before heading home.

Then on Thursday, I decided to give class a miss because, WHO THE F*** HAS A FULL DAY LESSON ON THE EVE OF CNY?!?! SIAO DING DONG. I GOT MY REUNION DINNER TO ATTEND. Gave class a miss and went back to Swiss with Theo!

OHHHH. ALSO, I MENTIONED ON TWITTER THAT THEO IS NOW JUST STAYING A FEW BLKS AWAY FROM ME!! I was so damn happy and excited!! I've been hoping for her to stay near me every since sec4!

So for the first time ever, we met each other at the void deck and headed to school together! ^^

And we collected ang boas from teachers. lol. REAL ANG BAO W MONEY INSIDE BTW.

We separated after the celebration and I went off to meet my fam for lunch and  JEM for some last minute shopping.

The eve of CNY didn't go so well for me at night…

I FELL DOWN AGAIN

I was trying to clear my table and I stood on foldable chair trying to get a box out of my wardrobe when I fell and cried for 30mins++

It was pretty bad (no kidding, not exaggerating) especially because my injury was at the exact same spot on my leg that I had once gotten injured before from falling (as usual) when I was younger and it left a pretty bad scar.

And this time, it was worse because the area where my scar was only recovered on the surface. Which means the flesh under my skin where the scar is, didn't grow back at all. 

What's worse was that instead of comforting me, my youngest brother actually came and took a video of me crying -_-

Just talking about my injury and thinking about the scar that's gonna be left on my leg makes me really depressed.

URGH

MOVING ON.

 As usual, CNY Day1 was spent visit relatives

 I kinda surprised everyone with my outfit as well. 

I WAS WEARING A SKIRT THAT IS AT KNEE LENGTH! 

For the first time, my attire is the longest among all my other cousins. AHAHAH. 

Mine used to be the shortest. lol (except for a year when I was wearing a maxi dress)

 And CNY Day2 as usual was spent out with my dad's secondary school friends, visiting his friends' relatives/ my childhood friends' grandparents

And CNY Day3 like every year, was at my place!

And just like every year, I am the only one in the family who doesn't invite anybody to my place. lol.

I'm just not comfortable with having people come over to my place and me having to serve them/entertain them to make them feel comfortable.

It's just not me. When someone feels uncomfortable, they make me feel uncomfortable too EVEN THOUGH IT'S AT MY OWN HOUSE.

So I just don't invite anyone to save the trouble and all the uncomfortableness. 

The one people whom I've ever invited were my girls (TSFY) because they always make themselves feel welcome and comfortable without causing any inconvenience etc. Sometimes even come uninvited. lol

However, I was called to meet up with Eugene and Theo around 9plus because they were all around Yewtee so I ended up bringing them over to my place!

Steamboat at Minjiang's place today with the band people and tomorrow too with the clique.

I'm tired as hell.

Good night. 

Mind Over Matter

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry" well, you're not sorry and I'm not sorry for not having you back so kindly stop wasting "efforts" and drop your act.

I'm so glad my vision's cleared, "friends forever" are just some words; spoken too soon and mean so little. Time will tell they say- when tough times come you see who's near, my dear friend, you're no longer here.

And people always say it's mind over matter.

Cause I don't mind as you no longer matter.