ROUTES

I've been thinking a lot for the past few weeks and I've learnt a lot from things that have happened.


I've been looking forward to this holiday thinking that I'll be able to spend more time with the friends I treasure but as days pass, I realized that things have changed and will never be the same again.


There's so many people I wish for to be with me forever and ever but we all know the word "forever" doesn't exist.
Friends that have helped me, friends that I really don't want to lose or even to be not as close as before with. But just like how things change, situations in life will cause people to change.

The past few days have really taught me a lot. I've been very paranoid about my girlfs and friends not being as close as they were with me once we move on to tertiary education and have tried to prevent it. But some things can't be prevented and what will happen, will happen.
They've moved on, have other priorities in life, and I know things people say like "I will miss you", "We need to meet up soon.", "No one will ever replace you" are lies. Because the fact is they will be too busy with other priorities to miss me or even meet up with me/ make more time for me. And people do replace one another because it's more convenient to be with one than the other.

However, the past few days have also shown me a lot. That no matter how far we might have drift apart, the past will remain and won't be changed. And if it's convenient or if they're able, they will be there to help. I was really thankful when I saw how John Lim forget about "saving face" and helped me during the chalet even though he didn't want to. How Yanting, Eugene, Min jiang and Wan hei volunteered to help me with the cleaning up and did most of the cooking when they didn't have to do so. Also, how Fiona came and tried to "rescue" me when I was panicking. And how Shushia and all of them were willing to skip eating because of my mistake.
I felt really thankful and though the whole chalet didn't go as planned, I've learnt many things and most importantly, realized who I could count on should there be help needed.

I still stand by what I've said in the past and what I've told Theo though. That,
"True friends aren't friends who are there just because it's convenient."


So I'd say, they might not be my true friends but I'm sure, I can count them as my good friends.

I remember Andy telling me that people whom I meet in life are just passer-bys. I never liked what he said because he said that to me so that I could let go better and I never liked letting go. I want to see my friends as people who will walk with me to the end and not just passer bys. But the past few weeks I've learnt a lot and I won't say that it's entirely wrong.



I've learnt that life is like a map and all of us have different routes to go. People whom I've met and made friends with are just like those who have walked the same route as me for a period of time. I won't call them as passer bys though, I call them as friends. However, there will come a time when the routes will have two or three separate ways and we might have to part because of the different places we want to go. -Just like dreams in which we chase. And so some would help me and accompany me to walk the road for a little while and then, have to leave me and walk another way. It's selfish for me to make stay because they will have to waste their time while they accompany all the way to my destination. So I have to say good bye and hopefully our routes will allow us to meet again. And there'll be times when I'll have to walk my route alone because no one is heading the same way. I'll feel lonely and sad or even upset with my friends that they have to walk another way. But I just have to remember, there might be times in which they might have to walk alone and feel lonely too. If there's a chance that we might meet and walk the same road again, they'll still help me and accompany me too. So I just have to tell myself to let go when it's time, keep moving forward to my finishing line and have hope that our paths might meet and we'll be able to see each other and spend some time. For now I'll just know, if I'm alone, he/she might be alone and if that's so, we're all in this together.



Sent via BlackBerry from SingTel!