Something For Me To Remember

Thankful for this quote to whoever you are. 

-

AnonymousSunday, 01 June, 2014

IT’S EASY TO FEEL UNCARED FOR WHEN PEOPLE AREN’T ABLE TO COMMUNICATE AND CONNECT WITH YOU IN THE WAY YOU NEED. AND IT’S SO HARD NOT TO INTERNALIZE THAT SILENCE AS A REFLECTION ON YOUR WORTH. BUT THE TRUTH IS THAT THE WAY OTHER PEOPLE OPERATE IS NOT ABOUT YOU. MOST PEOPLE ARE SO CAUGHT UP IN THEIR OWN RESPONSIBILITIES, STRUGGLES, AND ANXIETY THAT THE THOUGHT OF ASKING SOMEONE ELSE HOW THEY’RE DOING DOESN’T EVEN CROSS THEIR MIND. THEY AREN’T INHERENTLY BAD OR UNCARING — THEY’RE JUST BUSY AND SELF-FOCUSED. AND THAT’S OKAY. IT’S NOT EVIDENCE OF SOME FUNDAMENTAL FAILING ON YOUR PART. IT DOESN’T MAKE YOU UNLOVEABLE OR INVISIBLE. IT JUST MEANS THAT THOSE PEOPLE AREN’T VERY GOOD AT LOOKING BEYOND THEIR OWN WORLD. BUT THE FACT THAT YOU ARE — THAT DESPITE THE DARKNESS YOU FEEL, YOU HAVE THE ABILITY TO SHARE YOUR LOVE AND LIGHT WITH OTHERS — IS A STRENGTH. YOUR WORK ISN’T TO CHANGE WHO YOU ARE; IT’S TO FIND PEOPLE WHO ARE ABLE TO GIVE YOU THE CONNECTION YOU NEED. BECAUSE DESPITE WHAT YOU FEEL, YOU ARE NOT TOO MUCH. YOU ARE NOT TOO SENSITIVE OR TOO NEEDY. YOU ARE THOUGHTFUL AND EMPATHETIC. YOU ARE COMPASSIONATE AND KIND. AND WITH OR WITHOUT ANYONE’S ACKNOWLEDGMENT OR AFFECTION, YOU ARE ENOUGH.
Daniell Koepke

October is here!

And someone should wake Green Day up.

 Went back to school early in the morning today after 7 months of not stepping into campus.

Had a meeting together with our supervisor, Isabel and Steff for our upcoming filming.

Then headed to Chinatown after for Kbbq together with Eugene, John lim, Weiren, Nais and Lynn!

lol. I was kinda "in charge" of the soup during lunch because I was sitting right in front of it and then I decided to become a chef and start playing my little own cooking game; trying to mix different sauce and stuffs inside to make it taste good. -AND IT DID TASTE GOOD!! HAHAH SUPER PROUD OF MYSELF MUAHAHAHHA.

And on top of that, the guys kept calling me "Chef Chuang" which made me even happier lah. AHAHAH. *smug face*

Anyways, was damn thankful for Lynn cause usually it would be Fiona, Yanting, Theo or Clarence taking care of me whenever we're out eating but they weren't with me. Plus these guys I went with wouldn't give a shit about me... maybe except Eugene, so I thought I wouldn't be eating a lot (cuz I don't usually take food on my own as I can't tell if it's cooked or not lol) however, Lynn kept taking food for me :')

Travelled to Bukit Timah after lunch to play pool after 3895734957months of not touching the cue stick and I must say, I'm pretty happy with my performance :P
Now I'm gonna start playing pool often again before the holiday ends because I'm on form. Heheheh

Separated from the guys after and went to West Gate for dinner.

Also, my youngest brother graduated from Sports School today!! heheh.
I'm immensely proud of him because this baby brother of mine is growing up. So sad though )':

2 weeks left before my holiday ends and it would be my last lap before I graduate from poly.
Really can't wait to leave. Not because I'm excited to grow up and like move forward but because I really really don't enjoy this chapter in my life. Never have I disliked school EVER, till I entered poly.

Anyhows, made a promise to myself that this week would be the last week I would be lazing at home which means starting from next week onwards, I'm gonna be using my time at home to do productive stuffs like finishing up my last ad hoc project, building my portfolio, or just like going out to enjoy my last few weeks of holiday. Anything but sleeping away at home.

Also need to fucking reteach myself some basic discipline.
I think it all flew out of the window the moment I entered poly. (See, stupid poly).
I used to get annoyed with people who are late but ever since I entered poly I'm almost always late for all my meet ups and for work.
Really need to stop that or I'm gonna start to dislike/get angry with myself a lot.

Also, need to stop waking up in the afternoon. -Also, another thing which I generally dislike back in secondary school. Always felt that people who wake up in the afternoon or at 3/4pm are people who are generally "useless" in the sense like it's a habit which jobless people have and that I should never pick up that habit???? But I did .___.

Oh wells.

Last few days for me to laze around!!
Shall do it right. LOL
Good night!!

#001: On how Charman deals with friendship problems

by Isabel Ho

A suitable eulogy for your funeral fuckface

Roses are red, Violets are blue,
You’ve been an ass to me,
I’m so glad you’re dead.

Charman stared at the blinking cursor, before huffing and deleting the entire chunk by furiously jabbing the backspace button. She flopped backwards onto her bed and let out a long suffering sigh. Turning on her sides, Charman spotted a particular bear given by a particular someone. She narrowed her eyes, and made a come hither motion at the animal. Its beady eyes watched her, and Charman is overcomed by a wave of rage.

“YOU SNEAKY LITTLE SHIT! I HAVE MY EYES ON YOU!” Charman pounced onto the bear, punching and squeezing the soft cotton.

 “What the fuck.”

 Charman turned back, and hissed back a “What?” at her brother. Her brother took a look at the wild state of her hair, the feral glint in her eyes, and wait is that today’s obituary with XXX’s face pasted over it? before deciding that he should abort mission and retreat immediately.

“Nothing.” He answered, slowly backing out of the room. He had his hands up in surrender, and went back into the kitchen. His mother looked up, and he shrugged. “Doesn’t want to eat.”

“Did she say that?” She narrowed her eyes at him, and he shrunk back. Women are scary. He nodded, and she got up. Charman was still squeezing the last of the cotton fillings out when her mother appeared in the doorway. Charman stilled, not daring to meet her mother’s eyes as she stomped over, screaming about cleaning up and getting out of the room instead of doing nothing. She shrank into the bedding, and breathed as quietly as possible.

She will not notice me if I don’t move. She will not notice- “What is this?” Mama Chuang held out a bunch of cotton. Stay still, Chuang Charman. Stay still. Don’t breathe, don’t answer, you’re not here. You’re as calm as a lake in the winter, practically frozen. Yes.

 “I BEAT YOU AH!”


P/s. I will never fucking punch my soft toys or rip it into pieces. But this is a fic so yup.