A good scare is worth more than good advice.

I have always been told by my ex that I always let the wrong people in. I have always been told by my friends to stop crying for people who aren't worth it and told by my seniors that one thing I always fail to do is to let people mean too much to me.

They are probably right.

And no matter the amount of times I'm able to forgive, there will always come a time when I'll be changed, and destroyed by it.

I'm actually pretty amazed by the fucks I NO LONGER GIVE.
By how unconcerned I am to my friends.
It may seem pretty unfair to them but I as much as I wish I could, I can't help myself. Why should I keep going through the same cycle to get my emotions messed up by people again?


Never once have I had an easy time opening up to people and trusting them.
Each time I do that, it takes a whole lot of faith, effort and courage to open up to them, expose myself, place all my cards on the table and stay there like an idiot to see when I'll finally lose it all.
People who know me well, know this too damn well.

But why?
Why did you choose to make use of all the faith I had in me for your own selfish gains?
Was it fun for you to walk away and see if I was willing to let you try again?

And more than being amazed by how much I've changed because of disappointments, how I am now so unconcerned, I miss, myself.
Yup, myfuckingself

The bubbly, cheerful, Charman filled with child-like faith that everyone once knew.