2017: YEAR OF GROWTH

It's been more than a year since I last blogged. It feels weird to be typing in this space again... so please cut me some slack if whatever that I am about to say sounds choppy.

I started 2016 slogging my life away at work then, entered Uni and was busy studying; writing essays, research papers and preparing for exams. I had to write so much that it deterred me from anymore writing so I did not want to blog at all. Also, I think as I grow up, I feel less compelled to have my feelings/opinions heard/acknowledged. Not that I no longer like sharing about my life anymore.

In 2016, I went back to school, joined a CCA (Judo) which is one of the many martial arts I have been interested in since young and was feeling pretty fulfilled with my life. I made new friends, scored well and worked really hard in school. I have never studied in my life before. LEGIT. But I did ever since Uni started. I even gave up on having a social life lol (I am not even kidding; except for those times I hung out with my uni mates to play floorball etc which was only once every few months), I would be sleeping at 3am every night because I was staying up to finish the multiple essays and assignments that were due each week. And on weekends, besides going for services, I was practically home all day to finish my essays.

I was so focused on getting adjusted with school that before I knew it, 2017 came.

I wouldn't say that 2017 was a tough year for me. Because it wasn't. I enjoyed every single moment of it. But it was definitely a tiring and capacity stretching one for me. I started the year with taking 4 modules – concluded that 5 was way too much based on my first semester especially since we had to submit a research paper individually at the end of Spring semester.

I took a look at my planner before I started typing this post and I realised I really had 0 breaks in the year. I went from one job to another, all while I was studying and juggling with my other responsibilities. So much has gone on in just 365 days.

1. I finally made the decision to be baptised. After years and years of going to church, and delaying this decision. I really feel like my lesson for 2017 was to learn obedience. Among many other lessons but this must be the main thing that I had to learn because I was never obedient.
2. I got promoted to yellow belt! HAHHAH not like yellow belt is a big thing because it's just a few notches up a white belt in judo but it was an internal struggle for me to ignore the negative mental scripts I had in my head. I remember crying so much when coach passed me my yellow belt after my test. 
3. I joined a cell group. (Or rather, went back to one) LOL this was definitely slightly surprising for the people around me because I hardly ever talk about religion and I am never religious/obedient to go to bible study/pray/read the bible much less join a cg. And trust me, I didn't go willingly the first time. But well, many things happened that led me to make this decision and I am happy I made that decision to go – or rather, I was led to do so.
4. I took up part time internships. I started working while studying full time. The start was a struggle especially since it was Summer semester; known to be the most intense semester. Having inexperienced managers and bosses didn't make it easier either. Everyday at work, I had to figure out my role and my purposes for joining the company - because they didn't give me any work. Then I joined Certis Cisco and got busier. I remember OT-ing my first day till 9pm. It was really a struggle at the start because Fall semester came and we were all crazy busy in school trying to keep up with the assignments, exams and project deadlines. But no regrets because the people are nice here and I wouldn't trade my time here for any other part time jobs/internships. 
5. I turned 23 and was given 13 cakes and 9 surprises. I felt really blessed. And even right now as I am typing this post, I still feel thankful/grateful to have friends who are willing to do so much for me. From UBCRU to my uni mates to Loud girls and the various groups of friends treating me to meals. ME IZ TRULY HAPPY AND LOVED.
6. Brother was admitted into ICU. It was scary. My whole family was thrown into a state of shock. I remember sitting in service with my friends when I received the text message and was fighting to hold back my tears (lol I couldn't). He was in there for more than a week and underwent 3 operations. Bad news kept coming one after another. November was not an easy month for me. It was nearing my exam period and I had multiple assignment submissions. Dealing with difficult, lazy teammates was one thing. But I also had to deal with their drama while trying to complete my part and their part of the assignment so I can do well for my modules. Besides school, I had to juggle with work and other commitments. It all slowly became frustrating for me. So the sudden news that my brother had to be admitted to ICU because of Throracic Outlet Syndrome caused by repetitive badminton trauma made everything worse. Especially since doctors found a 20cm blood clot from his arms all the way to his heart as well as multiple clots in his lungs. Everyday before and after school/work, I went down to the hospital to be there for my family and made sure my brother was okay emotionally. The medical bill and politics my family had handle was not easy either. But through this my capacity was enlarged and I have learnt a lot from this, not just in terms of how to act, how to react but medical terms (LOL), insurance, dealing with politics, kindness, last but not least, the importance of nurses (which should not be looked down on as a profession/study course). My brother has been discharged for about a month now and is recovering well. He has been going for doctor's appointment and physio weekly to regain his ability and taking his injections twice daily. I cannot wait for him to be back on court – he insists on going back to badminton.
7. Trip to Xi'an! Finally got to see my terracotta warriors. I have always been fascinated about China's history even though I might not like its culture. And I was glad I went on this trip. It was mostly an educational trip but no regrets because so much have been added on to my knowledge!
8. First thanksgiving! Grateful to have spent time with the people I have spent time with :)

I have honestly grown so much from just June 2016 to Dec 2017 alone and they are not my own words but the words of others. I learnt to prioritise better and while friends to me are still important, I no longer hold back the decision to let go of ones who aren't my constant. I am excited for what this new year will bring.

Onto 2018!