i don't need you, not because i don't love you anymore, not because i really don't need you, you know. But I think, as long as i have memories, they're good enough


Roy and all will be going to serenade! :D

Stucked in the vicious cycle

I NEED TO GET OUT!!!

DERRY LEO MADE ME CRY TODAY!

and you know what's so great about that?????
He made me cry because I was afraid about failing my N levels!
OMG! YES, I ACTUALLY CRIED FOR MY STUDIES!
AND MY EYES WERE EFFING RED!

evidence:
(don't wanna mention this dumb freak): HEY! you wearing red contacts or you put make up under your eyes there is it???
C: no. (in my mind: where the hell would I get a red contact from and who the hell would put RED make up below the eyes, unless I'm acting some horror movie)

I was still joking with him about "maybe I was meant to do 'greater' things" while he wrote the exam dates for me in my diary. Then slowly, he look at my work etc. And told me about how difficult it was for me to catch up and all. After that I cried. WTF?! (He like more worried about my studies than I am lo)

okkkkkkkk, thanks for waking me up. Hopefully I will start to work lah! And not just cry and forget about it.
Called evan and leon......................
And also!, thanks aiksoon and yijie for rushing over to where I was to comfort me and all. OMG. Like after egg saw me, less then 8seconds he was up at the second floor already. And yijie, once I put down the phone, he was infront of me already! (ya, but he said he will bring tissues also, in the end just take one watch, and guess what was his excuse? "ONCE I GOT YOUR CALL I RUSH OVER LIAO LEH!")

you know what actually shocked them the most?????
I said I want to study, and I'm willing to stay back to study after school. And I'm crying because I finally know that I've been lagging behind!!!
*thumbs up*
Though I still don't know if I'm really going to do it or not, I will tryyyyy! k wait. No. I MUST START SOMEWHERE! 
I think I should start right after I shower and have my dinner!!!
 
On wednesday (this week) John lim, Aiksoon, Nais, John Teoh, Weiren were angry with me for not being serious even when I'm in sec4. "play lah. I see how you play on the day you get your results, continue k, continue" Then they were like super pissed? They ignored me! OMFG!
Then aiksoon tried to coach me maths until I confused him then he don't want to coach me liao >):
 
Yijie brought me to find John lim after that and told him I wanted to study, john lim walked away as if I was crazy-.- I told Nais I wanted to study, while crying, then he give me that smile as if i was joking. OMG, MADE ME SO SAD OK!
 
After band, went out of school, then got some liar, said what need to go to yewtee to see some teacher. I GOT SCAMMED!!!!!!
 
ok, I need to shower, eat my dinner and START STUDYING. (at least read 2 pages or something! without falling asleep!)

NOTE TO SELF!: NEED TO CATCH UP 2 YEARS OF STUDIES IN FREAKING 6MONTHS WHILE DOING DNT AND PREPARING FOR EXAMS! GG!
 
bye!
 
P/s. On a better note, I received some beer caps for helping percussion do their legerphones or idk how you spell that.
 
P/s/s. I just received an email from douglas!!!! OMGOMGOMFGG!!!
 
P/s/s/s. *luqman tying to trick me to bring my instrument up for a certain piece* ME: I KNOW THIS SCORE DAMN WELL! SO YOU CAN'T TRICK ME! I EVEN KNOW WHEN THE PERCUSSION IS SUPPOSED TO STOP PLAYING THE WINDCHIME! -.- I told shihan to stop francis playing the windchime because he didn't stop, he just kept playing it-.-
 
 
TIME TO WAKE UP CHARMAN, SERIOUSLY! 
Yes, I know after reading my blog, some of you will go "i told you so" especially for a few certain people and someone, thanks, I appreciate your efforts even though it didn't really wake me up the other time.
I BETTER START TDAY!

If it hurts, you still care.

Just reached home showered and all. CMI, fail. I cried.

Whatever feelings you have within you are attracting your

 tomorrow.

stop, i must stop. royyyy i need to meet youuuuu

The big change in you

It's disappointing. Maybe you have been always like that. Maybe I don't know you well. Maybe I don't know you at all.
whatever it is, let it all end, like this. tday.
Calmness was what you taught me, you're not able to do it. Right now, I'm doubting, I'm really wondering, was it just a mask for me to see. Then, I haven't loved you at all, I loved someone who you were not, but trying to be.


I'm, going out soon to meet clarence first then the rest to go to the airport to send douglas off! :D
Pray hard I won't cry!!

Words we could never find

Firstly, A very Happy Birthday to Dearest Toh Jingyin!
& a Belated one to Dickson Pang and Nisa Ramily!

k, I'm ready to start posting.

(this photo was taken last year, I looked like good girl^^)

Sunday!

Sunday was Fiona's birthday! :D

Met clarence before that, was supposed to meet at 3pm but I was late because I was busy, using the com-.-

But I was late by 10mins only k! Then this guy very smart, made me walk all the way back to cck park when He could have just told me to meet there right from the start. Nice getting me all sweaty after I've showered eh.

(THAT STUPID JUNKAI! WENT FOR HIS DUMB TRAINING AND MADE ME THE LIGHTBULB!) I was like, "woah idiot. no electricity how to light up!"

Sat there and look at queena and him, couldn't take it, cause I was bored so I called nicholas down.

Then clarence very nice again, just when Nicholas reached cck park, he told me he'll pay me go lot. wth.

So I had to bomb Nicholas. No. Actually, I talked to him for awhile and asked him to go back-.-

SORRY!

Went to lot then queena left.

Met esmund then slacked around. After awhile, went to the back of lot to meet someone else, TOGETHER.

nice eating air (-_-)

went back in to lot, bought ichiban bliss! > :)!!!

Then I happy already lo! HAHAH. So waited for es while he ate his meal. After awhile, I was like "fuck you lah charman, nice one lah k!"

Douglas came after that then yanting. So went off to search for some stuffs, (Esmund went to buy more inchiban bliss for me to cheer me up!!!! ^^ MANY MORE! HAHAH! THANKS!) met the rest at interchange and to Fiona's house! wahahahha.

Many funny things happened, like we were't sure which floor, both yanting and I forgot. So I stood infront of the door like an idiot to see if it's the correct house. In the end, no. What an idiot! (I mean me-.-) 

Skip dinner part, and everything else-.-

CID!

CID and E sent me home after that^^

So nice horr? ya, right. LOL!

Then Monday! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Was supposed to meet some ass in the morning but then, i don't want to mention it.

After morning assembly,  bro came and asked/told me stuffs.

I was like LOL at that point. I thought The feeling was gone. I thought wrongly I guess?

Leon very nice! :D (ok, random)

After school, received a call from Sherry, told her to help me drag time because I had to go to remedials.

S: eh. Someone want find you leh.

C: Help me drag tim can. I got remedial. "Play" with her.

S: k, can. hurry ah!

HAHAH! (not the whole conver shown)

it's insider's secret!^^

after remedials, went down to woodlands, wasted my time there.

Tuesday, band!

Then someone very smart, told me certain stuffs, got me troubled.

I thought I the feelings gone, it didn't.

All along, it was just hidden, beneath of those protection.

sorry people, and roy. you wasted your efforts.

Doug is going away tmr):

what am i suppose to say? it's not ok.

HAPPY ME!

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA! Tday is power! I like. lol.




byebye!

Don't dare me

OMFG! I AM SUPPOSE TO MEET SOME PEOPLE LIKE NOW?! AND I'M STILL AT HOME! D:
BYEEEEEEE!

Because you can never go from going out to being friends, just like that. It’s a lie. It’s just something that people say they’ll do to take the permanence out of a breakup.



ok, byeeeeeeee!
AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY FIONA THOR!!!
shall party till we drop tday!!! :D

It's not what you do, It's the reason(s) behind it. That can make me love/hate

I never thought that it’d be easy, cause we both are so distant now and the walls are closing in on us, and we're wondering how.
at least I do.

Friday!
Was super irritated while taking the mrt. (shall not eleborate what happened) caused me to use my hand out of control. Then after that looked around, everyone was looking at me so got out of the train and boarded another train. lol.

weiern, huda and many others made me cool down a little after.

Had attire check in the morning, then something hillarious happened. Look, I don't pretty much give a damn to whatever at all. But if you try to pull me down, you should know what you'll be heading for. Because I said, I'm not gonna be nice anymore. So don't try so hard ok? :)

Attire check was almost over then mdm sha and Mr Terence.T came over to me after that. But whatever, my teachers were so nice, I just had to say "pleaseeeee, please leh, I don't want to go over, got people over there I don't likeeeee, next week, i promise. pleassse" and with some little help, yay. I escaped.

I love pe lesson on that particular friday! Had fun! :D

Wrote some crap for Annie.T so that I can go off asap to meet chingsoon. so met him outside school, explained to me about something. Band after.
EVANGELINE CAME. OMG! And She gave me three piece of paper! very special you knowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
thanks for always putting in effort to do all these to cheer me up, encourage me and make me happy evan! :D
Even trying to come to band when you're so busy and all. THANKS.

I love angel.

Sheena and tiq came too! so weird to see sheena in Jc uniform especially in her pe shirt. I think she belongs in secondary school! HAHAHAH.

Received a call from CS after that. O:
Initially, I was still siding you. After tday, thankyou and good bye! Love you so much for doing this alright.
HAHAH! youa re the loser, not them, not him, not anyone else.

Had PTM after, many many thanks to thos people who rushed out immediately after to find me and check if I was alright. Especailly tfor a few who were not there at ptm, called me immediately to ask if i was alright! (Should know who you are) :D
LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH. AND I AM CONTENTED!^^

TODAY!
had band, was so nice to walk to westmall again! my no.1 fan and the dazuiba (HAHAH!) should be so happy ok! HAHAH!
home after that. such a good girl. then have been waiting for a sms.
and I just finally received it! yay!

so excited for tmr! I LIKE! BYEBYEBYE!

BRO(cs): don't keep things to yourself please.

P/s. My mum is trying to cheat my bros money away!!!!!!!! omg. and she's trying to tempt me to play the game with her to cheat my ang bao money also! omgomg! I need to direct my attenton to other stuffs and pretend that i'm not interested!!!

You think I don't learn, I've actually learned, other things.

It’s not where you are in life. It’s who you have by your side that matters.

Dare you do it, then thank you and good bye.

POCHONG SAYS HELLO TO EVERYBIRDIEEEEE!
HAHAHA!

anyhowz, thank you yanting for the candyyyyyyy >:D
I reached school super early today! HOHOHO! Didn't want to enter school at first. Wanted to slack outside but was too lazy to text anyone, so i decided to step inside school.

Terence.T gave out maths test paper, I was the last one to receive, i guess you know what I mean.

waited for recess, then finally!
Rushed down, and "lo hae"!
HAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Note: I think everyone should thank theo for uploading photos :) especially me!
(Update!): ya, but she upload halfway -.-

Then dnt.
Mr wong: CHARMAN! WHY YOU SO SKINNY HUH!
-skipped-
Mr wong: You better gain more weight!
C: ? O.o
Mr wong: you last year how heavy? and why you sick?
C: 45kg. Cause last year, i didn't study! then i was damn healthy! Then this year, I study haven't two months I fall sick already. Cause doctor say I too stress, need t rest!
Mr wong: yayayya, *ignores*

I sad. lol!

-skipped-
*was standing infront of the whole class, reading a book*
Mr wong: (talking to my form teacher because she came into workshop) I ask her stand there cause she naughty!
rofl!

kept taking lozenges, over dosage. then people kept asking me to stop! I cannot help it ok! was feeling so terrible! and i kept sneezing!!!


After school, went off with clar, douglas, nic, enze to have ba chor mee.
They eat lah, not me. lol. Went to find junkai, fatin and co for awhile and take something.
Clar: Whenever charman is unhappy, we will sian with her.
Nic: you know what's wrong? the person who will always talk the most is not talking much tday.
sorryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

went gomback stadium after that, watched match, betted with junkai, YAY! I WIN BET AGAIN! :D
mummy and daddy came, then fiona came. went off later.
then went to meet clar, doug and nic.
Watched them play cards-.-

Went off first, wanted to go home initially, then Sheery called me so went down to find her.
so, i just cabbed home, blogged and now, i need to shower and sleep!

good night!

P/s. I was prepared to wait till 12am for a sms but now no need liao! lucky me! HAHHA!
P/s/s. I noticed I typed the conversation wrongly! and my pro finishing line wasn't posted out! so sad! HAHA! shall edit next time.

SINGAPORE COMMAND BAND SWISS WINDS

I BET some of you (those not in my school) will always wonder why am I wearing NCC uniform when I'm in band when you see my photos posted up in my blog.

Example:

RIGHTRIGHTRIGHT?

:D

Please say yes!

HAHAH! OK! SO LET ME GIVE YOU A BRIEF DESCRIPTION OF THE BAND!

(BTW, Even if it's a no, I'm still telling youuuuuuuuuuuuu)

Swisswinds was formed in 1967,  is a composite unit dedicated to delievering uncompromising quality of music through the channels of a parade band, a concert band and our herald trumpets fanfare team.

-

We do parades as well as concert. In a way, we're something like the SAF band but the difference is our age, we're only secondary school people, and that, we do parades for SJAB, NCC etc where else, SAF only comes out for us to watch and see them during National Day. Other than that, they do Parades for the SAF and army which are like private ceremony? AND WE CANNOT SEE THEM ):

uhmm, I said this on the I THINK basis. Which means, it might not be true.

So before you click on my comment box and start typing nonsensical about me making up stories or whatever, please stick your eyes to the computer because I said, I THINK.

The Swiss Winds has, in the past 42 years, seen active service in the life of Singapore, performing for many cultural, community and national events, including the state National Day celebrations, entertaining the public at the Istana and our various parks and various musical events such as Sentosa’s Fountain of the Youth series and the SYF Band Fiesta, just to name a few

I don't have the photo of us with the President.

):

In 1999, under the guidance of then Principal Mr Gan Chee Hau and Chairman of the NCC Council Dr Arthur Beng, Swiss Winds comenced a new chapter of musical partnership with the Singapore National Cadet Corps. This relationship has provided a wider horizon of active service for the Band and has seen the Swiss Winds NCC Command Band increase its presence on the national level through supporting various military occasions that include the Teacher-Officer Cadet Commissioning Parades, Officer Cadet Passing Out Parades, Dining-ins, Buglers for the annual Remembrance Day services, Affirmation Ceremonies and Anniversary Dinners.

ok, introduction is boring.
SO, LETS JUST GET STRAIGHT TO THE POINT!

SWISS SERENADE 2010!!!!!!

ok, Swiss serenade is a once in a two years thing so you should catch it this year and not wait 2 years later.

WHYYYYYYY?

Because it's too long to wait.

and that, that'll be my official pass out day as well as the rest of the sec4s!

awwwwww):

anyway, a band that get's to wear no.1, (not every normal human being can get to wear no.1 ok! not even when you're in th army). And a secondary school band that get's to performance at so many events! We even performed at Istana.

WOAH. WE MUST BE SUPER GOOD RIGHT! OMG, SELF PRAISE?!

let me show you a video!

Swiss Winds Corporate Video

Ok, actually, I mean let me ask you to go and watch a video!

and I remember posting this about swiss winds!
http://chharmanchh.blogspot.com/2008/09/im-too-busy-to-post.html

SOSOSOSOSOSSO?
YOU SHOULD COME AND JOIN US DURING SERENADE!
If you haven't read th link to my another post, you a should-.-

Contact me at charman--@hotmail.com for more information or to purchase the tickets!
BTW, this is not my msn account. So I would appreciate if you stop spamming friend request to me through that email because that's not my msn account and it's irritating.

P/s. I hope that the few girl I met who reads my blog will come! :D
P/s/s. I've took some photos of my "models" for the booklet and if you want to see my photography skills, you should come! And then, you might see them! lol.

THIS IS ONE OF THEM!

ok, I'm sick, I can't think properly. Just come ok! bye.

Losing myself

Met tina and friends yesterday, so nice of them to ask me to meet when they just came back to Sg. Yea, when I'm sick-.-

I wanted to go out but I decided to stay at home because my head was spinning like crazy. And just when I stepped into my room wanting to sleep, their message came.

Rushed out, went down to woodlands and met them.
So, gonnnnnnna type out our whole conversation.
yesterday's conversation was like alarm clock manzxzx.
(what a great way to describe it-.-)

C: Hey. Not jet-legged?? lol
Tina: No. Want to see if you ok.
C: Oh. You want me to see you guys you mean-.- if not, you'll just come and find me.
Tina: Fine! I'm just saying ok? You ok?
C: lol. You know about it ah? HAHA.
Tina: What is there that I don't know huh youu.
C: yea, not yet, but will be. heh.
Tina: *Smiles and wanted to "sayang" me* OMG! WHY ARE YOU SO HOT?!?!?!
C: uh, cause I'm not cold blooded! *giggles*
Tina: You're sick right? I know you are stong girl ok, ...
HERE'S THE POINT!
C: that's the point.
Tina: ...but you should go see a doctor or something. ok, you won't-.-
C: It's like everyone thinks of me that way, I can't really act like how I feel because I'll disappoint them. Then, I'll lose them because I let them down. I have to be stong, when I'm not at a certain point.
-silence-
Roy: you know you don't want to disappoint people or let them down because you're afraid to lose them but actually, you're losing the most important person in your life which is yourself.
...
The last time you were really you was during the June holidays. Uh, as in the last time I saw you as you. After that  didn't see you already right. *signals to tina* You were not like this. Now, you're trying to lift up to people's expectation, you're not really you. And it feels weird.
C: *tears* (I guess what happened and how I reacted is pretty obvious) *triesto talk but chocked up*
Tina: I know what you want. But it won't happen. you can't get it back. So now, you'll just have to open yourself up to the new you, and have new people coming to you and be friends or whatsoever.
Look at the bright side! Maybe, you'll be able to tell who's really your true friends at this point of time because they just stay with you no matter what believing that you'll find yourself again. And now, at this point of time, just relax. Maybe it's sign that you're growing up you know :)
Shawn: Don't cry already ok! :D (best and most retarded response ever)

(*Confidential*)

Anyway, thanks to roy, tina, lynn, shawn and many many other people for the "alarm clock" conversation! HHAHA!

Roy: What do you do when the person you love is the reason behind all your pain? When things aren’t the same anymore and you constantly see yourself striving to maintain the relationship? When you no longer trust that person but you still love him.You felt this unbearable pain in your chest, but think to yourself that the pain is worth it because in the end you are still with him. Whenever he's out, you have a million of worries at the back of your mind, you irritate people around you asking them "HOWHOWHOW" they told you how, Itold you too, but you didn't listen. What you wanted was just for some good response. But you're not facing the truth.You try your best to trust, but for some reason you can’t. You kept dreaming of goos things happening, miracles, but yet they don’t. You find yourself so infatuated with this thing we call “love” that you isolate yourself from everyone and everything you once loved. But in the end,look what happened?

I guess what it all boils down to is that I miss you.

*sniff sniff*
School was alright tday.
Crapped with jingyin and many people.
"you know I cannot study cause I will too stress then I will sick! Last year I never study then I so healthy. This year, I study, a little. Then haven't even on month I sick liao! My life or my grades more important?!?!? My life right! So, You shouldn't stress me up and ask me to study." LOL!
You'll be hearing a lot of these until my cough, flu, headache and all go away! heh.

Reached school, first thing aiksoon did was to pass me a packet of tissue paper! >:D
SO NICE! HAHAHHA! THANKS!
Pochong is happy!
Then went back to class to get something and saw a small box of tissue paper under my table. A BOX!!! HAHAHAH! So nice know I got flu then give me eh? Ya right. Anyway, THANKS!

Ethan wong flare up infront of us for the very very first time >O:
So scary........... lol. I am super lazy to redo my dnt.
Btw, it's redo because I tore my dnt papers away last week.

Felt nauseous after running et >):
bought a bowl of noodles, just ate like effing two mouths and I poured it away.
NOT NICE FEELING OK!

After school, was so kind hearted to invite some people to join us, unfortunately, he got test. boohoooooooo.
So went off to find Junkai and rest with esmund.
Those idiots, changed their venue so have to go up to every single blk to look for them. Then finally, met them at goodview.
Dk, Zakir, F-blackie, Junkai, enze etc.
Slacked for awhile, made them leave. HAHA!
"4 to 1 ah?" fuck?

Isaac! Thanks for being so nice to me ok! *smiles*
For that, I shall not sabo you. HAHAHA. Anyway, my bag also not heavy what!

Headed to mac, treated them ice cream. SO NICE! TOO BAD FOR THE ONE WHO HAVE TEST >:P

Met theo, fina, yanting and rest,
Asked fiona to smell my fingers.
C: Smells familiar?
Fiona: YA! Let yanting smell, I think she'll know.
C: she don't know one. You know cause you got expierence and you were once related to it before. She also don't hang out with those people (something like that)
*smells again*
Fiona: Leon?
C: lol! NO. but something related to that.
Fiona: Douglas?
C: no!?!
Fiona: (IDW mention's name)?
C: I wish? NO.
(ok, confidential already! So skipped)
C: my life or grades more important? :)
yanting: *pulls my shirt* (She always bully me like that one! ): tigress! :P)
you don't tell me if you study, too stress then need to smoke horrrr!
HAHAHAHAAHAH! FUNNY SHITZXZ.

trained home.

I'm coughing like crazy now.
I think my cough worsen because of fries, ice cream and meeting people at good view.
):
Stupid. I should learn to control the food i eat, especially when I'm sick! Now, no one is there to remind me.
*pouts*

Yaya came back tday and told me a bad news.
STUPID ASS! Douglas haven't seen enough kangaroo that's why he's going to Australia to see them for 4 years. STUPID GUY >:@
very good lo very good. All say want to go sec5 together then in the end like that.

OHNO! I'm late!
Shall go pongpong now and post when I come home.
ciao!

You choose to distant from me, not me.
You set me free, you said you wanted me to be happy. But fuck you, I waited for so long not for you to go away like this. This is not making me happy. Do you need me to repeat and show you your sms? "I want you to be happy" ya. right...

Just met tina, shawn, roy and all.

Sometimes, my emotions just get the better of me.

SICK!

*frowns*
IT WAS JUST DRIZZLING OK! Then I had no choice because there was no shelter so I walked.
Then got into car, then flu.
WTH! I think it's because I haven't been walking in the rain for a very long time that's why.

BUT WHATEVER MANNNNN.
I'm sick!, I've got flu, it's difficult to breathe, my head is spinning and it's painful.
and my ulcers and still not disappearing.

Anyway, met max and sky yesterday! :D

Day 1-Talking about pubs
yy: shanghai dollys is all old unlce one.
dad: (to yy) got any one like for young people? Those younger people.
Aunt: ya, have. Happy tanent.
yy: huh?! Got such place meh? Where is it?
dad and yy gives blur look to aunt.
aunt: at jurong.
yy: jurong?!?!
aunt: ya. for young people one. kindergarden.
dad and yy: -.-
me: -.-
 btw, yy is my cousin who is like alotalot older than me. and she's an air stewardess. In other words, she's very pretty. ok, crap.

Day 2- Talking about genes
Nicole: wow, we're gonna get another hyper active cousin.
Jhun: no?! How you know is same genes.
Nicole: Same parent what!
Jhun: but that doesn't mean same gene! ok, i give you one example. same parent, (points to himself) one's a genius, (points to nicole) one's a moron.
LOL! OWNED!

Talking about mickey mouse
*max takes off his shirt, swing it and threw it on the ground-.-*
Fai: woahwoahwoha.
Jhun: got anythign to see meh-.-
CC: Nope. Don't even have mickey mouse..
Bro: huh? mickey mouse?
CC: ya! you know got one tummy and no chest??
Jhun: HAHAH! Then max one is what? Mickey mouse zuo lao ah! (mickey mouse in jail ah?) HAHAH!
Because we can only see his ribcage.

My headache is killing me):
I need t go out already.
I feel like fainting >D:


whatever-.-
bye.

I want to see a tear fall down your cheek for everytime you feel my heart break.

I want you to feel helpless, trapped by your feelings, like you’ve made me feel since the second you walked away.

PO IS FEELING TERRIBLE):
so long since i felt like this

If i could ignore the feeling

HELLO PEOPLE!
*big big smile!*

Someone was suppose to call me now but became drunk>:@
HAHAHA. Ok, I'm not angry. Even if it was a sober call, I most probably wouldn't answer too.
heh. WHAO! WHAT A RANDOM START.

k, great.

I keep having this conversation I had yesterday, stuck in my head.
C: DERRY LEO! You know tday, during CNY celebration, they say pineapple tarts brings you luck! Now I know why I last year so unlucky! Cause last year was the only year I didn't eat many pineapple tarts (because I was busy texting, drinking for the first time :X and all-.-) So this year! I'm going to eat many many many pineapple tarts so that I'll have good luck! :D
Derry: -.-
C: :)
Derry: and every morning, you can eat one hotdog, and two eggs. equals to hundred! So every exam/tests, you'll get hundred! AH! Add one pau or dumpling (i think?) also! Then is bao (guarenteed) 100! And also guarentee you every morning diarrhoea.
C: -.-

Went to cousins' house early in the morning, after lunch my auntie was telling me about my dad. (SUPER HILLIARIOUS!)
She said that when my dad was young, (like sec1 i think?) he brought her to the stairs, and because there was upgrading or something, there was a pail of sulphuric acid left at a corner. So he told my aunt (my aunt was like only 6years old or something?) "I SHOW YOU MAGIC OK!" *smiles* Then he took up the pail of sulphuric acid and pour it on the ground. so there was lots of smoke lah, obvious. and it scare my aunt and my dad. after that, my aunt went home to tell my grandma what my dad did. then my dad, being afraid, he tried to act, -act smart? "mum! i comfirm that it's sulphuric acid!! ok, i comfirm!" then my grandma added in, "i told him, 'ya! and i comfirm that you'll (eat cane?) chi teng tiao. (which means get canned lah!)
ME: OMG! DADDY, YOU SO FUNNY! AND I DIDN'T KNOW THAT YOU WERE SO DUMB!
DAD: I know what was sulphuric acid at that time, just that i didn't know theimpact was so great. (trying to defend his stupidness infront of everyone)
ME: anyway, what's sulphuric acid ah?
MUM: *looks at me with the i-am-so-going-to-kill-you-look*
ME: what! I fail chem what!
it would be funnier if you were there in person. because of the way my aunt spoke. HAHA. My aunts are very funny people!

Then,
Uncle leslie: (to my other uncle) gang hui lai ah? (just came back ah?)
Uncle Andy: No. wo zhou hui lai, (No, i walk back)
All: ?????
Uncle Andy: wo mei you gang hui lai, wo zhou hui lai. (I never carry back, I walk back)
Xinlin: ok, my dad's joke super cold right.

AuntJennifer: You know I showed liting my report book, last time secondary school and primary school one. Then She see all fal except for chinese, guess what was her response? "huh....Ni jiang de cheng qi hai jiao wo du shen me shu!" (HUH...with this kind of results you still ask me to study?!)
Then nvm, that day she showed me her test results. I asked her why it was not as good, guess what she said? "Ni ye hao bu dao na li qu lo! hai jiang wo!" (you are no where better ok!)
LOL!

after,
Aunt Jennifer: how to write (certain chinese word) ah?
C: *looks up and give blur look*
Aunt Jennifer: oh, ask wrong person. *laughs*
wthhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! >:@
HAHAH.

This afternoon, My grandma told me she will give me $1000 if I managed to get into sec5, then my grandpa said he would add in $500, while my dad would still give me a mac book. What a good offer.
and apparently, it got my brothers jealous, so now, they think it's unfair and they are unhappy about it.
and my dad keeps reminding me of these offer.
):
Not like I don't want to study what, is cannot ok! Who doesn't want to have good grades and not let others down.


After lunch, went home, rested and went to my maternal grandparent's house.
had fun.

I've got friggin' ulcer!
I WANT TO EAT NEW YEAR GOODIES!
IN PEACE!
I've got ulcer!
BUT I'VE GOT A BIG BIG ULCER!
OMG! WHY!
AND IT'S KILLING ME!
ok, I'm sad ):

Oh mannnnn. imagine all those new year goodies right infront of your eyes but you can't eat them! ):
ok, band members, please do not eat too much, you can't afford to be sick at this point of time!

I am still sad! ULCERSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! ):
Why do  always get ulcers???? ):
btw, after several testing and trying, I conclude bonjelo is useless, nothing put a stupid gel that taste "good"? It's a useless shit!!!!

OMG!
ULCERSSSSSSSSSSS!  ):
I bet if clarence is with me now, he would want to give me a punch because I would be whining to him about my ulcers.
HAHAH!

OMG! ULCER!!! ):
FOOD! I CANNOT EAT FOOD IN PEACE! D:
D:
DD:
DDD:

ok, POCHONG CHUANG SAYS GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY ESPECIALLY FF! :D

and HAPPY CNY CUM VALENTINES' DAY!!!!!!!

P/s. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BRO TOO! :D

I shall be a good girl till next thurs! :D

Moving on is simple... It's what you leave behind that's so hard to get over with.

I think I'm moving, but I'm going nowhere.

Charman. says (11:53 PM):
*tell your sir.
*swisswinds impt
chingkit BITE BITE BITE! says (11:54 PM):
*if i go serenade, then i will go jail.
Charman. says (11:55 PM):
*lol!

Reached school tday, was so pissed with myself, almost cried,  then when I was about to, I saw someone walking past me. LIKE OMFG!??!?!
*eyes opens bigger*
CHINGSOON! I was like happy ttmx ok! HAHAH!
So waited for me while he talked to Mr Micheal.
Then chatted with him for awhile.

CNY CELEBRATION WAS LIKE SO MUCH BETTER THAN THE PAST FEW YEARS!
WL, WAS SUPER FUNNY.
minjiang: why that guy like keep walking here and there ah?
yijie: he not tired meh?

many things kept me entertained throughout :)
ohya. AND THANKS TO SHEENA ANG FOR "SAVING" ME BEFORE THE CELEBRATION!
:D

HAHAHAH!

JOHN LIM AND STANLEY POON!
We had our hopes on both of you lah. tsktsk.

Band after that.

Mr chew: why are you not playing?
C: I've got ulcers ):
Mr chew: cause you don't have enough vitamin D. and must be kiss boyf too much right!
C: huh! I've gotno boyf already!
Mr Chew: ya.. right. like i believe like that.

Wanted to get away from someone and so, I decided to ask my senior and junior for help:
C: KENNY! HAHAH! KENNETH SCARED KENNA BEATEN UP SO I TELL THAT GUY I GOT A BOYF AND MY BOYF IS YOU OK! HAHAH!
KENNY: NO! I SCARED DOMO EAT ME UP CAUSE HIS MOUTH VERY BIG!

WTF HAHAHAHAH!
I more scared-.-

then need to sleep!

OMG, SO NOW CHINGSOON IS OUT, WE TALKED ALOT! AND I FEEL LIKE BANGING MY HEAD ON THE WALL CAUSE HE KEPT FAKING TO ME! >:@
RAWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

what yijie said to me, left a great impact on me.
why do you ask him about me. if you cared, just talk to me like how you used to.
you don't want me to get influenced by you cause you want me to study hard, you should too.
just stop keeping a distance from me. I'll listen to you. I won't get influenced. I PROMISE

OH HELLO HI!
SAY HELLO TO POCHONG CHUANG!
FF! PO SAYS HELLO! :D
and goodnight!

I'll just keep moving forward, don't turn back, don't look back. If not, I know I'll regret.

I love you, this is an undeniable fact

And as much as I don't want to admit it, I can't run away

(OMFG! Baby fats!)

ok, before I start crapping, HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALFRED OH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >:D
I don't think he'll see this but whatever! (I must continue the habit I have of wishing someone who is somewhat important in my life. or once(?) happy birthday)
and I don't think I got anything that I want to say to him lo. Because certain thigns no need to say to him he will just tell me liao. HAHAHA!

-pause-

So, went to 7-11 tday, it wasn't planned >O:
we just met. tsktsk. Wonder why last time don't have so much fate lo.

And I realised. No. Actually more of admit- that i have a serious problem with keeping myself focused.
I tried to listen, failed, tried again, failed. I kept losing focus. Btw, I wasn't thinking about something else or anything of that sort.
Not even what to eat after school or anything of that sort. It's like I'm listening but it's not getting into me because I don't know why.
oh fuck! I don't know how I am going to improve my grades like that. Then each time I want to study when I get home, I get distracted by other stuffs.
Think I should study outside. Like mac? can eat and study! >:D
But I'm damn afraid that I'll study like for 20minutes then eat and talk all the way.
ok, at least better than not doing anything right??????????????????????
No, it's not helping ):

Went to bandroom to settle some stuffs after that. Actually wanted to go in and get some stuffs for theo to pass it to saiful but I ended up having to stay back like an hour or so longer?!?!?!?
For a special group of people ^^ (FIND OUT BY BUYING THE TICKETS TO SWISS SERENADE!)
Then finally made myself step out of bandroom. Which is like a super difficult thing to do cause it's like my second home already.
I just need a blanket? Pillow? and toilet. HAHAHAHHAAHHAH! But I'm serious, bandroom is my second home.

Went out of school, met three wild boars(?!) lying at the playground. Weather was so humid! I wonder how they can stand it.
So made them go mac with me, ate ice cream and slacked.

CTWK: I hate it when you're always right.
:D
:DD
:DDD
I like your attitude dude! hah

Went home after, then went down to meet brandon, sherry, yangyi, steph, junqi, cordi, yan an, qi yang, man poh, qi xuan, josie, wanxian, xuanlin, edroi, vera, casey, jia yong, tsz kai
like for less than an hour, went home to sleep. lol.
I PREFER MY LIFE WHEN I'M SLEEPING >:)
Because if I did anthing wrong, it's ok because the next day, it'll be repaired, mistakes gone.
If I lsot someone, it'll be easier to get back, and I don't really lose.
Best part is, I can just stop and change the story by waking up and going back to sleep again :)
Pause it at our favourite parts.

Another day, wasted..

As long as I still feel something, it’s not over, and believe me, sometimes I wish it was, but it’s not. I can feel it.

P/s. Half day tomorrow? I've got band. But anyway, I'm excited! :D

Baby sometimes love just ain't enough

My hand is very colourful recently.

Anyway, headed to school tday, I was super duper restless and lazy. Ask brent! (We were fated to meet again. lol Even though I didn't want to see him) Then this guy made me go 7-11 with him. So, he asked me to help him with something and then I made myself paiseh. oh mannnnnn ):

ok, he just told me he wants to go 7-11 again tomorrow. lol.
WL! I WATED TO BLOG LIKE FOR 5MINS THEN DO MY DNT!?
THEN..
OBVIOUS OUTCOME.

HEADLINE NEWS: Clarence wore his boxer the wrong way!

ok, whatever. lol. Something random cause he told us while we were chatting in msn conver.

I like our swiss total defence video! HAHAH!.
Anyway, I hope (I forgot what I wanted to say-.-)
tsktsk. can't blame me you know. I'm busy chatting! hahahah

I love my sitting arrangement. HAHHA! Cause it's easier for me to anyhow call someone who walk pass to either throw rubbish for me for buy food for me! :D
THANKYOU PEOPLE! (btw, it's people because I don't know who they are. just randomly called them to help)

Skipped the school part. I'm lazy to type things out.
I WENT FOR REMEDIALS TODAY!

Went out @ around 7.30pm to photocopy stuffs, so amazingly, my bro came.
then nick accompanied me too.
So while waiting for printing to be done, my bro was looking around for class deco.
so he asked me for advice. and stupidly,

C: aiya, i tell you, you this one don't want, that one don't want, just go pick some twigs and leaves and put it at the back of your class ok! I help you. (wasn't really seriousl about it though)
Bro: ok.. neh... there got twigs. I go take plastic bag.
C: huh?! wtf!
Nick *laughs*
C: idiot!
and off we went collecting twigs. uh, i mean they point to me where the twigs were and i picked it up.
wtf manzxzx. Charman, you very smart ok, damn smart to suggest all these.

After that went to mac while nick stayed outside and smoked.
so thoughtful leh! hahahah.

ok. Actually, this wasn't what I initially wanted to post. I changed my mind because....

AIYA! SHIT! CONVERSATIONS NEXT TIME! I NEED TO SLEEP!

GOOD NIGHT!

At moment like this, you'll realise sometimes, you only have yourself to rely on.
So, trust yourself that you'll be strong.

Don’t ever think for one minute that I don’t love you, cause I do. Or that I’ll forget you, cause I won’t.

Sometimes you just have to say goodbye.
I have to.

Sometimes, I catch myself staring at the ceiling wondering if I’m the only one going through these feelings

I feel tired, restless. This is going to be a super wordy post, nothing to motivate you, nothing inspirational or anything of that sort.

I just have to let things out somewhere because I can't find someone who I can really talk/communicate to, because even before I finish my sentence, it's either you'll get bored, "don't bother" look, give me a stupid look on your face which makes me want to slap some of you hard (hard enough to have that stupid look stay with you on your face like for months. I know it' cartoonish-.-), worse still, give me some stupid gl comments or answers that are not appreciated because I haven't finish my sentence and you have got no idea what the whole story is about.

You asked me to speak, I spoke. Sometimes, you just have to learn to shut up and listen until the person finish talking then decide to give a reply or just shut up and maintain silence until the person cry then, you come in and comfort.

I assume when you ask someone to let things out and not bottle it up inside, so that you can comfort them and make sure they're alright right? Then why comment so much before they even really reached the I-am-done-comfort-me-stage? Wasn't it suppose to be a comforting session. Like, HELLO! I am hoping that you'll comfort me not to find a topic in my trouble(s) then start a debate session with me. Now, your voice just makes me want to slap you real hard. 

GTFO.

I think I just wasted my few weeks at school. I've learnt nothing except for lessons in life.

But I doubt those can help you much if you want to get a good job outside in future.

Many things happened this week, and I hope more would come next week. Just so that I can break down and really cry then, have a new start. (Right-.-I hope more would come. wth?)

But whatever it is, I don't know why, I just hope that I will breakdown and then cry and scream right at people's faces, It makes me think that I'll feel better. Doubt it'll happen though. Anyway, I don't want anything -bad to happen more.

Sorry, I'm just restless.

You don't find me commenting much already. I'm lazy, tired and more tired to do so.

I am part of the family, I don't feel that way. I didn't even know that there'll be an event tonight until they came. I didn't even know she had food poisoning because of the way you treated her like normal days.

I am seek and fed up of what's happening, "only when you speak then I'll understand" wtf manzxx. You don't even bother. What for? I don't like talking to you, don't act like you don't know why. That's why I would prefer staying out rather than going home even when it's late at night. What you want is just to save your own face. Why? Because of your status. I don't care about them. I just want a normal and happy family like my friends do when they can just talk normally with their parents and all, not having to feel weird. Why do I have to go for etiquette lessons. Why do I have rules that normal parents usually would just let this matters loose. Why do we have meetings, I feel like a fool. When I said we don't have mutual understanding about each other, it's not about not enough communication or whatsoever. It's about giving why each actions, why each of us reacted, -to give them a thought.

HEY GIRL, CUT YOUR ACT.

I don't know what you did but whatever. I'm tired of shits. I don't comment already.

So tired of making amendments to satisfy people, and when I can't really get it and disappoint them, I feel guitly and upset. I keep changing, for "myself". That's because I thought they would love me more if I really did. And maybe if I tried but did not suceed. But it's not working, it doesn't work this way. Because in life, you disappoint them, they love you less. But they forgot, at one time, they disappointed someone else or maybe me too. So does that mean I should love them lesser? NO!

LOVE THEM MORE BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT HEY REALLY NEED. LOVING THEM GIVES THEM THE STRENGTH AND COURAGE JUST TO KEEP TRYING!

At the same time, I think people should know, they should allow nature to take it course for people to transfrom, to become mature, to change. Not to force or rush them. You think they'll be happier after that? No. you just made/forced them to speed things up in their life (thinking that they'll lead a better life after that) and they lost th chance of enjoying the growing up time. Slowly, they lose themselves. I lost myself. 

I miss the person whom I love hanging out with in the bandroom's libaray. (rofl?) The person whom I can share my every thought with. We share happiness together, split our sorrows into half so that we'll feel better.

One day, I can't take it anymore, I'm going to go all the way to dover after school to look for you.

I miss having people whom I can just go over to find them and they'll be there to cheer me up when I need them to.

When you come back, I'm going straight to woodlands to apologise to every single one of you. Then have you guys treat me unfairly but I won't mind because I know it's for my own good.

I miss looking at the time hoping that band will end soon just to go out of school to meet you.

I miss having pranks to do everytime when I'm bored in school.

I miss crying as a band together. Not because of bad things, but because we know we love each and everyone of us like our own.

I miss getting hugs from friends everyday before leaving school.

I miss odering 7 bowls of noodles from canteen auntie all at one time for recess.

I miss betting with you to get free milo treats.

I miss playing hello girl, jump jump.

I miss the time when the whole class practice dance early in the morning for audition.

I miss the time when we got called to the foyer just a few weeks after we got into school for clay fight and making the art room an museum.

I miss running around class and laughing like a idiot till some off you got sick of my cheerfulness.

I miss disturbing people and making them claim to get fame.

I miss the chickenpattygreentea gang

I miss playing on the swing.

efffff. Someone called me to tell me another problem. ok, whatever.

I SHALL SLEEP!

P/s. Happy birthday junkai

I want to eat my lunch! It's effing 4pm now!!!!!!! I WANT! Can someone cook maggi for me?
):

Nick sent me to school today. yay?

Anyway, I finally returned the zippo. thank me ok ball.

Returned back to class in the morning, then noticed a bag hanging under my table.

So, untied it to see what it was, a gift, then there was a letter inside,

"to charman, a gift for you, from somebody."

(-.-) ok?, but whoever it is, thanks.

Then fire drill. tsktsk!

RECESS! Had advance birthday bash for junkai!

heh, they bought him a box of condom then filled one with water inside, covered his eyes and put it near his mouth! wtf?!

After that had their "taupok" then threw him inside the girls' toilet (missed that part cause i went to change)

then played with the condom-.-

fatin threw it to first floor. wtf. got us worried, ran down to get it.

Band after that! >:D

MANY THANKS TO KENNETH FOR BUYING FOOD FOR ME! :)

he so nice eh, knowing that I'll be skipping lunch he bought food for me!

HAHAH. Tday, Amirul and Kenneth showed me the cute(?) side of them!

I was being harassed. But they ended up being scared for me. HAHAH.

They kept running into library then like "omgomg! charman! He is outside bandroom! omgomg!"

they were like effing scared! HAHAH. They are scared of their seniors! Btw, that guy is 24 years old you know!

Then finally, he stepped into bandroom. Kenneth got super afraid or something, he like run to the other side of the bandroom and ask me to go out and hide. lol!

He kept asking me to hide! HAHAH.

I had to calm him down and remind him that bandroom is safer and I also need to practice during full band. heh. funny senior!

(tday, i like them alot! like seriously!!!!)

Thanks kenneth, amirul and saiful anyway!!!! x300!

Kenneth: *telling mr chew what happened*
Mr chew: but charman got a boyf what...
Minjiang: ...............................................................

Wl, I want to buy a cam before serenade and before I go tasmania!!!!!!!!!!!
but I think not enough time to save so much monehhhhh!!!!

P/s. HAPPY BIRTHDAY DANIEL!