I wanted to go out but I decided to stay at home because my head was spinning like crazy. And just when I stepped into my room wanting to sleep, their message came.
Rushed out, went down to woodlands and met them.
So, gonnnnnnna type out our whole conversation.
yesterday's conversation was like alarm clock manzxzx.
(what a great way to describe it-.-)
C: Hey. Not jet-legged?? lol
Tina: No. Want to see if you ok.
C: Oh. You want me to see you guys you mean-.- if not, you'll just come and find me.
Tina: Fine! I'm just saying ok? You ok?
C: lol. You know about it ah? HAHA.
Tina: What is there that I don't know huh youu.
C: yea, not yet, but will be. heh.
Tina: *Smiles and wanted to "sayang" me* OMG! WHY ARE YOU SO HOT?!?!?!
C: uh, cause I'm not cold blooded! *giggles*
Tina: You're sick right? I know you are stong girl ok, ...
HERE'S THE POINT!
C: that's the point.
Tina: ...but you should go see a doctor or something. ok, you won't-.-
C: It's like everyone thinks of me that way, I can't really act like how I feel because I'll disappoint them. Then, I'll lose them because I let them down. I have to be stong, when I'm not at a certain point.
-silence-
Roy: you know you don't want to disappoint people or let them down because you're afraid to lose them but actually, you're losing the most important person in your life which is yourself.
...
The last time you were really you was during the June holidays. Uh, as in the last time I saw you as you. After that didn't see you already right. *signals to tina* You were not like this. Now, you're trying to lift up to people's expectation, you're not really you. And it feels weird.
C: *tears* (I guess what happened and how I reacted is pretty obvious) *triesto talk but chocked up*
Tina: I know what you want. But it won't happen. you can't get it back. So now, you'll just have to open yourself up to the new you, and have new people coming to you and be friends or whatsoever.
Look at the bright side! Maybe, you'll be able to tell who's really your true friends at this point of time because they just stay with you no matter what believing that you'll find yourself again. And now, at this point of time, just relax. Maybe it's sign that you're growing up you know :)
Shawn: Don't cry already ok! :D (best and most retarded response ever)
(*Confidential*)
Anyway, thanks to roy, tina, lynn, shawn and many many other people for the "alarm clock" conversation! HHAHA!
Roy: What do you do when the person you love is the reason behind all your pain? When things aren’t the same anymore and you constantly see yourself striving to maintain the relationship? When you no longer trust that person but you still love him.You felt this unbearable pain in your chest, but think to yourself that the pain is worth it because in the end you are still with him. Whenever he's out, you have a million of worries at the back of your mind, you irritate people around you asking them "HOWHOWHOW" they told you how, Itold you too, but you didn't listen. What you wanted was just for some good response. But you're not facing the truth.You try your best to trust, but for some reason you can’t. You kept dreaming of goos things happening, miracles, but yet they don’t. You find yourself so infatuated with this thing we call “love” that you isolate yourself from everyone and everything you once loved. But in the end,look what happened?
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CHARMMAN
kiss on you!