Stucked in the vicious cycle

I NEED TO GET OUT!!!

DERRY LEO MADE ME CRY TODAY!

and you know what's so great about that?????
He made me cry because I was afraid about failing my N levels!
OMG! YES, I ACTUALLY CRIED FOR MY STUDIES!
AND MY EYES WERE EFFING RED!

evidence:
(don't wanna mention this dumb freak): HEY! you wearing red contacts or you put make up under your eyes there is it???
C: no. (in my mind: where the hell would I get a red contact from and who the hell would put RED make up below the eyes, unless I'm acting some horror movie)

I was still joking with him about "maybe I was meant to do 'greater' things" while he wrote the exam dates for me in my diary. Then slowly, he look at my work etc. And told me about how difficult it was for me to catch up and all. After that I cried. WTF?! (He like more worried about my studies than I am lo)

okkkkkkkk, thanks for waking me up. Hopefully I will start to work lah! And not just cry and forget about it.
Called evan and leon......................
And also!, thanks aiksoon and yijie for rushing over to where I was to comfort me and all. OMG. Like after egg saw me, less then 8seconds he was up at the second floor already. And yijie, once I put down the phone, he was infront of me already! (ya, but he said he will bring tissues also, in the end just take one watch, and guess what was his excuse? "ONCE I GOT YOUR CALL I RUSH OVER LIAO LEH!")

you know what actually shocked them the most?????
I said I want to study, and I'm willing to stay back to study after school. And I'm crying because I finally know that I've been lagging behind!!!
*thumbs up*
Though I still don't know if I'm really going to do it or not, I will tryyyyy! k wait. No. I MUST START SOMEWHERE! 
I think I should start right after I shower and have my dinner!!!
 
On wednesday (this week) John lim, Aiksoon, Nais, John Teoh, Weiren were angry with me for not being serious even when I'm in sec4. "play lah. I see how you play on the day you get your results, continue k, continue" Then they were like super pissed? They ignored me! OMFG!
Then aiksoon tried to coach me maths until I confused him then he don't want to coach me liao >):
 
Yijie brought me to find John lim after that and told him I wanted to study, john lim walked away as if I was crazy-.- I told Nais I wanted to study, while crying, then he give me that smile as if i was joking. OMG, MADE ME SO SAD OK!
 
After band, went out of school, then got some liar, said what need to go to yewtee to see some teacher. I GOT SCAMMED!!!!!!
 
ok, I need to shower, eat my dinner and START STUDYING. (at least read 2 pages or something! without falling asleep!)

NOTE TO SELF!: NEED TO CATCH UP 2 YEARS OF STUDIES IN FREAKING 6MONTHS WHILE DOING DNT AND PREPARING FOR EXAMS! GG!
 
bye!
 
P/s. On a better note, I received some beer caps for helping percussion do their legerphones or idk how you spell that.
 
P/s/s. I just received an email from douglas!!!! OMGOMGOMFGG!!!
 
P/s/s/s. *luqman tying to trick me to bring my instrument up for a certain piece* ME: I KNOW THIS SCORE DAMN WELL! SO YOU CAN'T TRICK ME! I EVEN KNOW WHEN THE PERCUSSION IS SUPPOSED TO STOP PLAYING THE WINDCHIME! -.- I told shihan to stop francis playing the windchime because he didn't stop, he just kept playing it-.-
 
 
TIME TO WAKE UP CHARMAN, SERIOUSLY! 
Yes, I know after reading my blog, some of you will go "i told you so" especially for a few certain people and someone, thanks, I appreciate your efforts even though it didn't really wake me up the other time.
I BETTER START TDAY!