A JOKE A DAY KEEPS SADNESS AWAY!

There were two mental people. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sunk to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Mary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.

When the medical director became aware of Mary's heroic act he immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as he now considered her to be mentally stable.

When he went to tell Mary the news he said, "Mary, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged because since you were able to jump in and save the life of another patient, I think you've regained your senses. The bad news is, Jim, the patient you
saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry, but he's dead."


Mary replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry."

another

A blonde walks into a shop saying sir i would like 2 buy that tv,the worker says no, i dont sell stuff 2 blonde people!
She colors her hair black and asks the same thing 2 the same guy the next day,then he said no, i dont sell stuff 2 blonde people!
She colored her hair red and came back and asked the same thing, the worker said no, i dont sell my stuff 2 blondes!
Then she said WHAT my hair is red not blonde!!!!!!
The worker said i know your a blonde because that is not a tv its a microwave!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One more

There were two boys named Shut Up and Trouble. One day Trouble ran away, so Shut up went to go look for him. Along the way, he met a cop. "Hello son. What's your name?" asked the cop. shut up replied, "Shut up." The cop looked stunned. "Excuse me?" the cop asked. "I said Shut Up," the boy repeated. "Do not speak to a cop like that! Now, what is your name?" the cop asked one last time. The boy replied with the same answer. So, the cop asked, "are you looking for trouble?" the boy said yes.

JOKE 2:
Once there was a kid. He needed to buy grapes. So, he went to the store, and asked, "Got any grapes?" The man said, "No." The next day the boy came back, and asked, "Got any grapes?" The man replied, "No." The day after, the boy came back, and asked, "Got any grapes?" The man said, "NO! IF YOU ASK AGAIN I'LL STAPLE YOUR FEET TO THE FLOOR!!" The boy came back the next day, and asked, "got any staples?" the man said no, so the boy asked, "Got any grapes?"




YO MAMA IS SO STUPID...
- she stared at a orange juice box for an hour because it said concentrate!
- she put lipstick on her head to make up her mind!
- she threw a rock at the ground and missed!
- she jumped off the curb to comitt suicide!
- wrote a book on how to read!
- she bought a book on how to read!

YO MAMA IS SO OLD...
- I told her to act her age and she died!
- she has Jesus's phone number!

YO MAMA IS SO FAT...
- it took me 3 buses and 2 trains to get to her good side!
- when she puts on a red jacket people yell," Firetruck!"

YO MAMA IS SO UGLY...
- blind people cried when they saw her

another


there is a young girl in sunday school and her teacher wants to ask her 3 questions
1. her teacher asked her "who created the earth we live on"
a boy pokes with a pencil and she yells "god almighty". the teachers says "thats right"

2. the next question that the teacher asks her who died on the cross for our sins? the boy pokes her again and she yell "jesus christ". her teacher says "that right"

3. the last question is. "What did eve say to adam when they were makin babies. the boy pokes her agian and she yells "i swear to god if u poke me with that thing one more time i will break it in half"