HARD TO TRY OR TRY TOO HARD

It has been a week and a half since school officially started for me as a year 2 student and I'm really starting to get pretty frustrated with things.

I dare you say straight in my face that having a life full of expectations for yourself is a lot easier than having none at all.
It's been just a week and I'm already feeling the stress that's getting the better of me and thus, my frustrations.

I've been living most my life with not much expectation of myself and I'm really good at that. However, this time, I made a promise to myself that I will/must really work extra hard and I'm proud to say I did. And I did try harder. Yet, it gets hard when sometimes, no matter how hard you try, things just don't get better.

Here's one thing, I really get stressed out when I tell myself I need to do well and I did but can't maintain it. (That's why I don't like giving myself expectations and would rather try my hardest but be surprised)
It's really easier to be getting bad grades and then have a good grade once in a while than to be getting good grades and have bad grades once in a while.

I try my best but sometimes, my best, doesn't seem to help.

My weekends are sold for money. And I now only have every half a Friday for myself. And I'm so frustrated with people because people aren't trustworthy and they change.

Damn it. Waiting for my mum to be out of the toilet now before I shower and head to work.

Here's one thing I took away from my week: Not being able to maintain something sucks and people suck.

Good bye.
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