IS BAND WORTH IT?

People have always asked me what I have gotten out of joining band and giving 5 years of my life to it.
Having to go for band practices every Tuesday, Friday and half of my Saturdays and sometimes, even to have my whole Saturday robbed off because of performances and parades that can last all the way to 1am in the night.

Ultimately, I have always been asked this question.

IS IT EVEN WORTH IT?

I will start recalling those times I had to compromise and give up going out with friends especially when I have parades or performances on Saturdays. Times when my friends had to compromise and change the date of an outing because I had band. 

There were also times when I felt frustrated with my conductor, my band and section because we couldn't play a phrase of a piece well. Times when I felt like giving up because I couldn't get my embouchure right, because I couldn't play jazz as well as my batch mates and other times because I couldn't pitch a certain high note.

In fact, I didn't like sectionals. I dragged it. It was a time for me and my section to see how lousy I am and for my juniors to see how much better they were than me as their senior. There were times when I just felt tired and didn't feel like attending band during lower sec years.

I remember the political conflicts and fights my seniors had when I was in lower sec. And NEVER ONCE would there be NO quarrels and NO one crying during every AGM (Annual General Meeting).

And out of the all 4 times I cried really badly, 2 times were because of band. Twice were for the same reason, SYF results.

The first was in 2009 when I was in Sec 3. It was the first silver Swiss Winds had ever gotten. 

I remember crying the whole evening/night after knowing the result. Jieqi and I went crying from Yewtee for hours to CCK to meet Lynette, Jingyin and the rest who were also crying. 

Then the next day back in school when the majors had to announce the results to the whole school I cried again. I cried for the whole day and I cried as I ran ET. Ms Ho was my form teacher and she had to stop me from running in case of dehydration. 

I cried for a week and slowly after that, because of my friendships and relationship problems, Ms Ho and the rest of the teachers thought I had spiraled into depression.

And I cried not because I thought we deserved a gold. In fact, even though I know we don't deserve it, I was still secretly hoping the judges would close an eye and give us the gold not because we did well but because we had never gotten a silver. I cried because it was the first silver Swiss Winds had ever gotten and I know how the alumnus would be disappointed. 

The second time was in 2011 when I was in sec 5. This time, we were all on bus, excited and happy to hear the results. I think it was Winston who had the phone with him and had put it on loudspeaker. At the other side of the line, it was a few of the council members at SCH waiting for the results to be announced. We were so damn sure we would be awarded Gold. 

Everyone was in high hopes that we would be able to get the Gold that we lost back and reinstate our band as a Gold/with honors band. And we were so confident because we really practiced and did our very best to make sure we would have our Gold back. When the result was being announced, everyone started walking back to their seats on the bus and all of us started crying.

I cried for the whole evening/night and then the next day in school. Theo and I cried in class and our teachers left us alone to cry, sleep and get over our results because they knew how much the results have affected the band members.

The disappointment and the shame to face our seniors, my express batch mates and the school. I would never forget these 2 times.

And if you've read everything from the start to this part of the post, you would probably have the answer in your mind that band isn't worth it. That you're lucky you didn't join band.

But, no. 

It's only because you aren't from band and that's why you do not know.
What non band members know are only what sucks about band, what I've mentioned above and what they see and infer about band.

And it is because (if) you aren't from band, you do know the good about it.

So then, what's my answer? If band is worth it?

Whenever someone asks me that question, it isn't all that I've mention above that I would first recall.

In fact, those which are mentioned above took me lots of time to think about and I had to "force" it out of my memory.

Because when someone asks me something like that, what I would recall wouldn't be how many times I've missed an outing but the friendships I've forged and the bond which I've made throughout the 5 years I've spent in band.

 It wouldn't be the number of times we got scolded, or the number of times we wanted to give up but what I would recall would be how we cried together, got scolded together, and the satisfaction and pride we felt after each performances that brought us closer together.

I wouldn't recall the number of times I felt frustrated but only the times I had fun during the practices, out of practices and during performances.

So if you ask me, is band worth it,

the answer is yes.

Definitely, yes.

Because more than all the fun, the friendships and experiences I've had in my whole 5 years,

The reason that the band is Swiss Winds, is more than enough a reason for me to tell you that it is worth it.

Because (if) you aren't from band, and more than that, because you aren't from Swiss Winds,

You would not know the honor of being able to keep your No.1 at home for the years you are serving in Swiss Winds. 

You would not come to know of the honor of having to put on not just your band uniform but the No.1 for all parades. 

You do not know the pride of being announced and thanked at every start and end of the performance/parade and being addressed as "The Band of the National Cadet Corp, Band of Swiss Cottage Secondary School, The Singapore Command Band, Swiss Winds"

You would not know the honor of being able to put on the peak cap and badge with the state's crest on it even though you're only 13-17years old.

You would not know the pride and honor of being able to perform for the ministers of the country and have them recognize the band.

And most of all,

because you aren't from band esp, not from Swiss Winds,

You wouldn't know of the satisfaction, the pride and the honor we get each time after a performance/parades despite the hard work and scoldings we get day to day.

Because just like a sports player that have trained hard just for a competition and the pride and sense of achievement he/she gets after winning a competition,

if you aren't a performer, or a band member, you wouldn't know how it feels like to have trained hard, have ulcers on your lips because you played to hard or had your lips bleed, you wouldn't know how it is like to have gone through all that I've mentioned just to know that you've put up a good show at the end of the performance and be standing on the stage, hearing all the applause from your audiences and feel proud about it.

Because you aren't from Swiss Winds,

you do not know.