And wait..................................... For Idk what, probably a reaction from him, like some miracle and when it don't happen, and I finally decide to work on it, I realise that it's a little too late for it.
And there's this kind of "what if" in everyone's life. They are afraid to do it beause they're scared of what if, the standard phrase, "What if it doesn't work out?", "what if s/he find me stupid?", "What if s/he dislike me even more" Yea, screw those thoughts of yours and change them to "what if I didn't do it and I miss the chance?", "What if I did it and s/he give me the chance?"
So long as it won't hurt them, Stop analysing and work on it!
(Random: I'm feeling breathless and hungry now. But I will still continue blogging anyway. Can't just stop here, my thoughts, I need to blog them out.)
I would just sit there for literally hours waiting for some sign of him. Some sign that maybe he was thinking of me. I would make the littlest things into the biggest deals and I would just wait.
And sometimes, for some reason you can't let go even when you know that you should.
maybe, rather then just holding on, you should oppose your "what if" thoughts and do something more productive? And if it doesn'twork out, at least you know that you've tried. At least you know that even you if you hold on, you won't be able to get it because you did not get it when you try.
Yes, you may feel sad for not being able to get it. But after awhile, you'll be glad that at least you tried.
At times, I'll ask myself, what if I kept waiting and he never comes? Then I would try to tell myself, forget it and give up. I spend time and hours doing this same thing, I even forgot how I would use to fight for things (which is like, how I used to tell people, "YOU WANT IT, YOU WORK FOR IT AND YOU GET IT")
I even forgot my motto, (i'm not going to share it) but i used to do it.
Somehow, I just lose the confidence I had, idk how. But I know it wasn't an overnight thing. It happend because I have to face so many disappointments all at one go. It's like I haven't gotten over one and another just came. I’m not fragile because I’m a girl, I’m fragile because I’m human and no one was made to handle every single punch that was thrown at them. Especially it didn't come one at a time, it all came.
I stopped fighting for things I want, telling myself that things are impossible, when people asked me why I didn't do it, I would just find excuses like "how do you expect me to do it when lalalala. and I wasn't given the chance to?", fact is, I forgot that I used to tell people that you have to grab the chance on your own and not wait for people to give you the chance because sometimes, people just don't.
BUT WHATEVER, SCREW THOSE DISAPPOINTMENTS. IT'S OVER.
If you're not going to do things because you're afraid of the failure and disappointments then you'll never be able to get anything you want.
who knows, what you want might be waiting at the other end just waiting, like what you wanted to do.
Stop waiting because if both are going to stay there and wait, nothing gonna happen and no one gets anything. And everyone will be tired of waiting.
"That's the way, If both don't talk, all stay stupid then."
-FF, Aiksoon. 2008
Cause in the end, what we regret most are the chances we never took.
If it is important enough to you, you will find a way. If it is not, you will find an excuse. Stop saying you miss something/ you want something but you don't act on it. It's not going to work out if you do the same thing.
I've made a lot of mistakes,
but if I hadn't made them I wouldn't have learnt how to make things right.
And If I didn't lose anything in life, I would not know how to stand up again and tell people I am stronger not because I lose many things in life (-_-) But because I overcome them.
And starting from today, I'm going to overcome another. I'm going to find myself back. Not the bad points but the good ones. Not just find them but also, Improve them.
Make the most of what's going to happen instead of worrying about what you can't change and what will happen if you fail.
Because If you don't start today, then when. And If you don't start now, you might be a few minutes too late.
And if you don't do it at all, you won't even know.
Don't be afraid, Have faith.
Obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work it out.“— Michael Jordan
Start the ball rolling (CC!)
-theo, 2009.
ok, today is not a very special date to start, but I'm not going to wait for a nice date or whaever so that it'll be meaningful. because if i wait, I might start stepping back and not do it. And for me to master my courage again, and have this sudden "spark" in my head, it might take another year or maybe a little too late. Anyway, it's already meaningful that I decide to do something good and more productive then just stay and wait.
right?
right?????????????????????
:D
I don't need your answer. I know I'm right.
P/s. And the only reason why I'm like posting so early is because I was being asked to wake up every few hours just to know that I'm ok -.- So i might as well don't sleep.
P/s/s. And I feel that I've grown older, more mature already. HAHAH!
P/s/s/s. I LOVE THIS FEELING. HAHA!
P/s/s/s/s. It's like suddenly got light shining over me like that. HAHAH. Wooots. And this isn't a "planned" post. It just striked me while I was sitting on my bed and so I decided to post.
P/s/s/s/s/s. Eh, but first, can anyone lend me a phone so that I can text?
-.-
Let me end this with a few happy look on my face to scare/motivate you people! HAHAHAHAH!
this is like omg!! and I'm posting it-.-
last one
AND WORK HARD OK!!
IF IT DIDN'T WORK OUT, AT LEAST YOU'VE TRIED. BUT GIVE YOUR BEST!
Stayed up till 5am in the morning, I gonna make my tears worth the fight.
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CHARMMAN
kiss on you!