Kissonyou

More than anything, you deserve to be happy. I wish I could heal those scars, but I just don't know how.



I have to say sorry to those whom I've hurt and neglected:

First is the one, I've hurt, It took me only till now, to say sorry. Realised that it wasn't your fault at all. And yet, I kept blaming you, insisting that you were th one. It's almost two years now, took me so long to realise, and that you were th one who said sorry to me when I am th one who should. But never once, I apologise to you, so here I am, hoping that you are reading this, I'm really sorry, especially for not caring about how you would feel. ( I think you should know who you are right! You always guess my post correctly)

Second, is a group of people, whom have always been by my side, especially for three, this year. I've been taking many things for granted. I was busy, super busy with dreaming. And now, everything ended up being a nightmare for me. When I cry (yea, i know i cry alot this year-.-), two of you were th ones (especially one) who were there to comfort me all th time. You were the one who will always give me surprises when you know that I'm upset. Give in to all my demanding request everyday. Asking you to help me get songs, run down all th way to first floor and up again just because I'm hungry. And i disappointed so many of you like effing don't kow how many times already. On th day when i got my results, I promised to work hard and yet, i gave up because of a few situations i am in (still, currently).
and instead, for th past one month, i've became worst. I started going out with people whom I know were not good, went to to things that will hurt all of you and even, do things to destroy myself. because i felt that no one will care anymore and that i just wanted to get rid of what i was feeling. ( i know, very dumb to get rid in those ways) but i wasn't afraid, not at all because like i told you, (JOKINGLY!!) death will get rid of th pain.
(eh, although I really tried some but you know is joking right!?!?!)
SUM UP!, (too many things to say liao, so cannot!) FROM BAD, I BECAME WORSE.
yea, and th best i could do to stay out from all these, is to sleep th whole day. excatly what i did yesterday.
ok lahxzxx, in anyway, i'm super sorry for those disappointments.

Third one, althought you are currently not in Sg, but i know you'll see this! Maybe you were right. It's not worthy, I deserve it. I'm sorry for pushing you away. (you get what i mean)

Fourth and fifth one, for ignoring you, you won't know why yet. But you'll know soon enough. although i hope that i won't ever have a chance to let you know...............

Six one, Always, over and over again, I did nothing but make you sad. I'm sorrry your first one is bad. There's things i can't put here, but please know i didn't take you for granted. I just wasn't sensitive enough. For leaving you alone with my friends, for doing things i thought it won't hurt you, (i thought wrongly) being sarcastic, not thinking twice for you and all. You changed but it's not entirely your fault, mine too because we are forever changed by us. But what is done is done, there's nothing i can say anymore.


Better late than never?
Yes. But once you are late, there's many things that you'll lose out because it's too late.


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Yesterday, I slept the whole day, and I really meant it when I said th whole day.
ok, maybe not.
I slept all th till in th evening, skipped lunch. blogged, and went back to bed again. Laid there till dinner, went for dinner then laid on th sofa to watch tv.
mom asked me to do something, I didn't want to do anything at all so ignored her and went back into my room to sleep.
She got fed up and disappointed and wanted to chase me out of th house because she said I'm acting like a dead. (-_-)

@ 10:30pm -sms
"You want come slack not?"
wait for my mom chase me out first
"lols, why she wants to chase you out? anyway, why you quarrel with her"
no. didn't quarrel. she jsut want to chase me out because i'm acting like a dead.
"lol. I doubt she would lo..."
she will if i still don't want to do anything except for sleeping and lying on th sofa watching tv. like i have no life.
"lol, so are you going to do anything or do you want to be chased out"
I did something. I went to h kitchen to search for food-.-
"ok, so means not going to be chased out lah"

Slept till now, reflected alot.
and so, that's the reason why i'm blogging now.

*yawns*
And for tday, It's going to be sleeping th whole day again.
yeayea, i've got no life already.

ahye, your entertainment machine broke down.